The sincerest love is the love of food.
Bernard Shaw .
***********
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings
***********
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
***********
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! Unknown
***********
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?''
-- Freud
***********
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
***********
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
***********
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
***********
Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."
Mae West
***********
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
***********
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
***********
Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
***********
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
***********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred
***********
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde
***********
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—
Zsa Zsa Gabor
***********
My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
***********
The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Coleridge
***********
One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
Benjamin Franklin
***********
.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henry Youngman
***********
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
***********
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.
***********
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
***********
Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss
***********
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron
***********
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.
***********
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes
***********
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous
***********
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus
***********
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns.
***********
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.
***********
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.
***********
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
Woody Allen.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once
***********
Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths
Anon
***********
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
***********
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
***********
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence
***********
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
***********
A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
unknown
***********
I think, therefore I'm single.
Bernard Shaw .
***********
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings
***********
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
***********
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! Unknown
***********
The great question... which I have not been able to
answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?''
-- Freud
***********
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
***********
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
***********
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
***********
Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."
Mae West
***********
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
***********
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
***********
Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
***********
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
***********
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred
***********
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde
***********
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—
Zsa Zsa Gabor
***********
My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
***********
The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Coleridge
***********
One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
Benjamin Franklin
***********
.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henry Youngman
***********
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
***********
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.
***********
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
***********
Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss
***********
All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron
***********
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.
***********
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes
***********
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous
***********
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus
***********
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns.
***********
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
George Burns.
***********
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.
***********
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
Woody Allen.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once
***********
Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths
Anon
***********
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
***********
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
***********
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence
***********
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
***********
A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
unknown
***********
I think, therefore I'm single.
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